Perceptual vigilance - we've all experienced it. You buy a car thinking it is unique, then you see the same one everywhere. Our brains want to make sense of the world and once we are awakened to something new we try to find it in other places...
My life has taken and interesting turn of events these past few years. I have become simultaneously aware of both my conceit (yes, even posting this can be seen as feeding that beast) and the suffering caused by the brokeness that I see both outside and in. There are many reasons... a bout with cancer, I'm closer to 50 than 40 with a house full of teenagers. It could also be because things have happened in my work that shine a light on my own failings. Whatever it is I am definately in it and I'm seeing it everywhere. Over the past year I've read books by Dietrich Bonhoffer, Watchman Nee, Richard Lovelace and Richard Rohr. In each of them the same themes kept coming up.
There is the wishful dreamer of Bonhoffer or the man who does not live in dependance on Christ of Nee or the spiritually proud of Lovelace (his writing leans heavily on Jonathan Edwards) or the loyal soldier of Rohr. They all do the same thing. They look to themselves and their abilities. Each of these writers gives the same answer. To undo the pride of our lives we pass through suffering that leads us to dependance on Christ.
One of the things that surprised me the most through this process has been the discovery that so many people are already clued into these truths. In some ways I feel like I'm arriving late to a really great party. To rest in Jesus Christ and his finished work, to see him in the beauty of holiness this is life. And to live this means I've had to slow down.
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